she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
