I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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