I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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