i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
