i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do vagina's smell?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
