He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
