ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
