marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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