My hand turned me down
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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