He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
