I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
