I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
