She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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