just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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