I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
