you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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