Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
As shirtless as possible
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
