He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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