Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
