according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
