dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
