She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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