I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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