Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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