sarcasm needs its own font
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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