So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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