Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
