I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
