I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
