I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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