I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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