i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
