Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
