in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
