ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
