omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
