you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
