I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
