Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
