____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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