Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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