You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
