Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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