I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
