He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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