I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she told me i tasted like america
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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