I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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