I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
