I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
