i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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