sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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