did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My balls are so social today.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize