I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
