Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
